Real Talk Interracial Dating....
No memba when this week..Gotta question for my peeplz i kinda swagger jacked from a radio host I heard while in Canada a week ago....He asked the audience of people how many people ever dated outside of there race, and what seems to be the main reason why its seems so taboo amongst sistah's...Now, as a black man, Im not going to tell you that many of us look at skin as a deterrent, I know some who do, but by in large the majority Ive been around rarely discriminate. Mostly, we check for looks, personality, and annoyance factor. (Ladies theres know way to know your score on the last one, b/c each man has a different tolerance)
With that said, Believe it or not, color is low on the priority list..But, thats from a mans perspective. I couldnt tell you why my sistah's would never date outside of the race..
But, that's why we blog...
Some of the basic reasons I came up with are,
1 . The take Home shock therapy.. The guy may be the best man in the world, but he aint never going to meet the parents..Mom and Dad are still stuck in the stone age in that regard.
2. The he wont be able to relate with "my" issues phobia...Simply put, as a minority day to day its a struggle, coming home and and trying to relay those feelings to someone who doesn't get it, may take its toll. ie Sanaa Lathan in Something New .
With that said, Believe it or not, color is low on the priority list..But, thats from a mans perspective. I couldnt tell you why my sistah's would never date outside of the race..
But, that's why we blog...
Some of the basic reasons I came up with are,
1 . The take Home shock therapy.. The guy may be the best man in the world, but he aint never going to meet the parents..Mom and Dad are still stuck in the stone age in that regard.
2. The he wont be able to relate with "my" issues phobia...Simply put, as a minority day to day its a struggle, coming home and and trying to relay those feelings to someone who doesn't get it, may take its toll. ie Sanaa Lathan in Something New .
3. Self Loathe. What does it tell all blackman out there, when they see me with a _____..
and Finally
and Finally
4. Embarrassment. I sure hope so and so didn't see us at Papadeaux's the other day.
This is just me brainstorming, any inputs to the discussion are highly encouraged..
posted by smoothie @ 6:27 AM
8 Comments
8 Comments:
No offense to anyone.
I just like black men. The way they walk, talk, smell, communicate, the way the say baby, how they UNDERSTAND me, and they UNDERSTAND me like no one else can. I don't actually consider that a phobia. I do believe that he UNDERSTANDS me better overall. But that's just me.
Not to say I'm limiting myself, and not to say that if it works for everybody else then if they like it I love it.
But frankly, I don't see any fundamental internal differences between the two. So I would caution women who do go elsewhere don't go because they are running from something, because shit comes in all stains and colors.
As for me, my personal, physical preference is brothers. Period.
But um, not that I've totally gotten off the subject.
This is really nothing new. It's just that when a certain person (Aisha Tyler, Robin Thicke's wife, Halle Berry, - does she count) go that route, it gets more attention.
But I certainly don't have the expectation that they are to treat me any different. You are drawn to what and who you are.
But anyway, now that I've went all over the place, I love brothers. I do. And I think many black women do. They are loyalists.
no prob P,
that was the answer many of the French Canadians hit the host with..There comfort zone.
Some even hit him with the color line not being separated...To me, its whatever makes you happy, but its rare black women are happy truly happy outside of the race....
Silly question, over on the west coast, is it as taboo as it is here to see mixed couples?? I use to live in seattle, but thats more north west, so they get a very liberal pass, but southern cali, ive seen it both ways...
btw, married to an african queen...
Re: Southern Cali: You see a lot of it, but you see more of it in Rural areas. They move there A LOT. I don't know why, it's not that its' discouraged in greater "Lost Angels". It's kind of creepy in a city called Lancaster. I know someone (read: A FWB) that I see from time to time there and If I walk in there with him, it's the exception, not the norm. I like to see a healthy mix, no pun intended. I just don't like people bashing black men (or women, for that matter) as a justification. If you like someone you like someone, and there should be no reasoning behind it.
Oh, by the way, I already knew who and what you were married too. I peeped game on you during that "Habla Espanol" Post that you put up. When you said you were teaching your chirren your wife's language don't think I didn't look it up on the inner-net.
Stop laughing.
i forgot all about that..lol
Man its cool, don get the king of the ghetto on spelling properly...I agree totally, that if you like someone so beit...
I had to think about this hard before responding. I was trying to remember if there was ever a time that I looked at a man of another race and was really attracted to him. And, the answer is an absolute NO.
I love my Black men and really can't see myself being with any other kind of man. So far no other man does it for me.
od,
no problem with that, familiarity by and large is the answer ive recieved the most either via email or bloggin...what part of the country are you from,and how widely accepted there. just out of curiousity?
I'm from NY, but now I live in New Jersey. I don't think interracial couples are a big deal, but I don't see it that much where I live. In NY (Manhattan particularly), I see it more, and I doubt it's seen as a big deal.
I had a black girlfriend in high school...way back in '95. It lasted all of about a week before my dad, Boston native, raised in Oakland, went ballistic...said some pretty mean things. I honestly didn't know it was "wrong" per se until he told me how he felt. At that point I knew it wasn't us, her and I, doing anything wrong, it was his perception of society's view of us. But now that I'm older, hopefully wiser, I don't let their ignorance of love hinder my feelings for anyone. Preference is one thing, but basing it on society's whim of what should and should not be allowed is pure b.s. GET OVER IT! Besides, is God white???
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