For my dads out there Happy Fathers Day..We labor in the one job that is constantly under attack by negative influences, teen aged hormones, gang warfare, you name it..And I think, as a father you have to constantly be a positive role model for your kid b/c its so easy for the youth of the world to get lost into the cycle of all that is bad, and forget that they themselves have the ability to do something good, and make a positive contribution to society.
For my non fathers out there, here's the real challenge, if you have the free time, go out there and be a big brother to someone out there who does not have a Father Figure in there home or community.
As a black male, growing up without a male influence for the first 13 years of my life, it was tough. For, the better part of my youth we spent it an neighborhoods surrounded by similar unfathered homes like mine where the only male images around us were those of Drug Dealers with there Lexuses, Corner Dwellers looking to hustle, and Pimps using women as there slaves...My mother worked , and went to school, so she'd have my grandmother help in the remainder of the evenings so we weren't constantly around those who could lead us astray. But this, wasnt the case for all on the block..If I had a dollar every one of my homeboy's who would tell me that at the age of 10 they were out on the streets hanging out until 2 and 3 am I wouldnt have to work for a month...As many of those kids grew up, I would notice how some would start skipping school, the ones that did go didnt stay long, and most if not all of them got into the drug life early...Now, of those friends, I made and lost if I had to give you a round a number , id say about 12 orso are in prison, at least 3 or dead to my knowledge, and 1 is actually working and supporting his kid full time with his wife.
This is our dilemma.
Ive asked that both sisters and brothers read this b/c I feel that the time of relying on Mom to be both Mom and Dad are behind us. Yes women are more then capable of pulling off both roles, and theres something in there DNA that gives them the strength to move mountains with there mind, but its time for our men to step up and give these women that over the years they are far deserving of.
To My Ladies Raising Men.
S.I.T.D.O.W.N. With Your Son
Stay on them..Be that constant ringing in his ear that keeps him motivated.
Inform them they can be more then Rappers and athletes.
Teach your Son that the easy way, isnt always the best way
De terr them from negative influences that distract from your parenting.
Offer alternatives to negative images you dont want your son exposed to.
Win the battle against the stereotypes...Show your son positive role models
Never Give Up on Them. . Once you lose faith in your son, and he knows it, youve lost him.
To my Fellow Fathers out there NOT with there kids.
Continue to be an impact on your child. Just b/c you are paying the Court Ordered Child Support doesnt mean that youre fufilling your obligations as a dad. Your sons need that person they can emulate in life and your daughters need that person around who can inform them of the ways of men. Make the most of every time youre with your child. If its just on the weekends, make those weekends special..You dont have to brake the bank, simple things like movie night, or game night will easily suffice. Bottom line let your kid know that you care.
I can say that in my life I was blessed with a Positive male figure when my mom married her now husband of 16 yrs. He didnt have an easy road.. A woman with 2 teenage boys who were set in there ways took alot of adjusting to..There were battles, and there were disagreements, but in the end, he taught me and my brother about life, and how to be men. I take alot of what he taught me and teach my son with it now...
Thats my view from a fathers standpoint talking about dads...For those who read thanks, and I hope I earned another reader....