Who's On the Other Side??

So last night I suffered through a very bad bowl Game. (Lou v. Ga. Tech ) When it was over, I told myself ok, holiday's over you know you gotta get up and do the work thang in the am so you might as well pass out now ..(1040pm cst)

Since my wife has created one of the more classic quotes of the early year " if my husband's sleeping good, then im sleeping bad" I Imagine that right up until about 3am she must have been flat out tired, because I slept like Narcoleptic on Tylenol pm. until that point..

Time 3AM cst

Then this happened. Breathing 3 second pause Breathing 3 second pause. I nudge the wife who is tucked nicely in the sheets. (Her cocoonic like wrap would make mummies every where jealous. ) Its not her I notice. Wifey doesn't snore. At least not while im around . Now ya boy is thinking to himself aiight, its game time, somebody about to get rocked.

Me : "Baby you here that ?" Whispering lightly as to not tip off the offender in the house.

Wifey: "Yes its probably the boy"

Me : "its 3am why would he be standing outside the door breathing"

wifey: "probably b/c he needs to go potty"

Me: Its been to long I been hearing this for at least 2 minutes..Im'a bout to swing this door open and finsh somebody off...

So with 9-Iron in hand (im not a glolfer just got a bag from a friend) I approach the door. My intial thought is to open up and go Tiger on whoever's on the other side. Then that little light of common sense come's on. It askes of me what if Wifey's right? youre gonna open the door and knock your son into la la land..Damn Light...Now im all confused.

The breathings getting heavier and now i tell wifey to stand by and lay low. Of course this means unraveling the burrito , so she pretty much stayed in that position.

I Swing the door open , yell "HEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY", and standing there is my 3 yr old son in his now wet undies. Im pretty sure the yell followed with the image of his dad with the Golf Club high above his head contributed to my son's saturated big boy pants.

My night was ruined after that. I tell wifey, "im going to the couch to figure this one out."

Translation:" ima go channel surf and look for something that will knock me back out for 2 hours..Hopefully HBO will have one of there Classic Investigations on." No Luck.I ushered in the newday watching Sportscenter. But, wifey and the boy went right back to sleep , so I guess i cant be to mad.

Oh well, at least my son will never play with my 9-iron again.