Friday, August 15, 2008

Shawty want a Thug...

One of my homies from my Navy Days back in Hi. Asked if he could guest blog and wanted to get a feel on a topic that has bothred him...So without further adieu, I
give you KJ....

So im at the spot last night making it do what it do. And I get to the bar and low and behold I run into my future baby-momz...Lil Ma is 5'6 caramel complexion, about 135 with Megan Good Lips and a Trina ......Well I think yall know where i'm going...(Fellas I cant make it up it wiggled when she walked with it! ) Anyway I approach her and introduce myself and ask her for her name..We'll just call her Kiesha to protect the innocent..(im in Baltimore every other girl here is named Kiesha)
I buy her a drink, she gets a little more comfy and begins to tell me about herself. She's a Computer Security Officer and she enjoys Watchin football,basketball and going to the movies.
Fellas, perfect right? Thats what I thought to.

So I decide Im gonna take the convo up a notch. I ask her what she looks for in a man. She says " I wanna thug..Nothing against a hard workin brotha doing his thang, but I need a nicka " I had to make sure I heard her correctly as she was sipping the 11 dollar shot of Patron I had just purchased her . Obviously a look at me would lead her to believe im no thug. Faaaar from it.
I contract for the federal Gov. to catch thugs..I had to ask "Why would you a succesful sista be intersted in someone who is out on the blocks" ..

Stars in her eyes ,she goes into great detail about being with a guy who lives for the moment, Who's always on the grind, and constantly focused. Fellas as t-h-yck as she was the weaker man in me wanted to hit the whip and come back in that bar with a wifebeater on sporting 3 cell phones and cornrows..But the stronger part of me had to walk away..I thanked her for her convo and left.

She had me heated.. I could tell she wasnt feeling me, thats fine, I wasnt tryin to walk her down the aisle, (maybe down the block to the Mo) but to look at her Idve never guessed she was into thugs.. Especially at the spot we was in. Collar shirt and Nice shoes are a must there. Not to many thugs I know are going to put the effort in to throw a shirt on thats not a White Tee or a wife-beater...

So hears my age old question to E's readers. Why do the Ladies need a thug? I mean I got nothing but love for Lil Wayne and Jeezy. But you mean to tell me that if pitted against a good lookin tall brotha who got his own everything, he wouldnt even come close? (Ive made Wayne's Cd Pop twice but I'd like to think standing next to him I gotta shot with a shawty)

If TI and Pooch Hall are next to each other TI wins? (Through in pooch cuz thats who E says his wifey will leave him There are many good brotha's out there, I should know, Im one of the single ones, but getting shot down in spot like B-more where im literally outnumbered here 3 to 1 makes me wander what the hell am I doing wrong. Im not picky, and I love my sisthahs...Only Sistahs......I just want ot know what a thug can give that the Avg Joe Cant...


At 10:59 AM , Anonymous alldone71 said...

Easy answer to this one bruh, SOME LADYZ (and let me stress again) SOME LADYZ want that thug in they life for the same reasons some of the girlz back in high shcool wanted to kick it with the older drug dealing catz than the high school dude that was in love with them but only had 2 dollars and a bus pass (seriously, i'm not bitter). It's all about the status. That element of danger! Tellin all your girlfriends that ya man is a THUG in some circles is better than tellin them that ya man work for the gov-ment and got a regular gig like everybody else.. Sure, it's childish as hell but it's a part of black culture. Honestly, shawty need to grow up a lil. Hit the over 30 jazz spots with the professional black sistas! Law partners, corporate CPA's and brodcast personalities and such...they know where it's at.. We'll see how much she wanna thug of a man when she get her fired from her job for havin pissed hot on a test, give her bad credit plus 4 kids and then get locked up for drug possession. But really, i'm not bitter... It's friday and i ain't sugar coatin shit!!!

At 12:34 PM , Blogger smoothie said...

My dawg had to come expected! I came remember fondly hitting the clubs in england with my nigg..and even the Becky's were shootin us down b/c"they wanted a TUPAC TYPE"...You know what im talkin bout to bruh...


Bruh I cant explain it either, but what I csn tell you is, thug love is a short lived infatuation..I have a homie who is just know gettin over a Krazy asssed thugged out type who did everthing from nightly creeps around the block, to keepin at least a enough on them to get them slammer time for a LONG HOT MINUTE...She say it at first it was scary, but after awhile she forgot all about the possible jail time she face ridin round with this certified 2-strike havin loon...

Bruh, I been out to B-more, She's more then likely 1 in a pool of many who arent lookin for Mr.-Slap-Me-Round-AND-grab-Me-A-Fawty..Just know that some like that dude, but realize like we do HE IS NOT HUBBY material...He'll bus a kid out, but dont look for him to claim that kid..He'll beat ya a$$ first for allowin him to bust and not stoppin him....

At 1:29 PM , Blogger P said...

**Cracking my knuckles before I begin Typing**

Now, Guest Speaker Extraordinaire, I really don't like to get into the business of philosophicizin on blogs, (I stopped that a few years ago and try to keep things pretty succinct - however some topics and subjects trigger something in me that I just cannot get past, and this is one of them, thank you for bringing it up).

The biggest thing that women want in the world is not money, it's not status, not ANY of those things.

The biggest thing that a woman wants in the world (whether she admits it or not, is to FEEL SAFE). This is the elephant in the room that most women do not want to talk about.

Maslow's heirarchy of needs.

These are the laws of Nature. They are the laws of God. And it is the law of Attraction. You can never break the LAW. The LAW can never be broken. You can, however, pervert it, or even worse, go against it, and there will be hell to pay. And, with that said.

Safety (as it relates to a woman's perception), is relative. Depending on the woman and her frame of mind, she may believe that the thug offers her a level of personal security, perhaps something she never felt at home (Daddy/Electra Complex, so to speak). That is not the only reason why a woman would like a thug, this is an example.

As for other women that aim for financially stable (I mean BALLER status) men, that also relates to a level of security, (albeit financial), that they are either accustomed to, or have been made to believe will give them happiness and security.

Many of the things that you need to look for in a man as it relates to security has nothing to do with neither of those. The core things that you have to look for in a man are intangible things. Things that are principle based (Seven Habits of Highly Effective People-type stuff).


If you have that, then you will HAVE a man that will put his life on the line for you, you will have a man that will realize that being a good steward over his money also means making money and sharing it as well. You will have a man that doesn't think that one of the other is greater, that they all work towards us not being independent of each other, or dependent on each other, but interdependent upon each other, as it relates to our heirarchy of needs.

In short, she likes the thug because in a perverted unfortunate way, that is her way to feel safe.

This is P and I approve this message.

At 4:45 PM , Anonymous K to the J said...

@ ad71
E forwarded mw the spots in B-more to hit. I plan on acktin a fool tonite. Thanx for givin to me straight, I see alot of potential out here, and I know Ima hook a star..If I plan on hookin that is..

@e aka smoothie
sounds like ya homie had it rough. "ridin round with stuff on her" yet she stayed...thats some lov..I just wanna give a lil' bit of me and maybe share a #5 at

@ Ms. P

Thats a whole lot to take in...I must admit I did not look at it that way at all. Security, and daddy..So can one assume momz brought thugz to the spot but none of them stuck around so she longs for one, Orrr, she percieves a well educated well paid brutha as as somewhat overcompensating, and being weak?

I'll take a bullet for the one I sweared b4 god with, (and If she can but If we just met, and she see a gun, she to late..Ive already made it to the whip...

As far as financial, if that were an issue, Id squash it quick..If a woman was with me thinking that she hit the lotto, she's gonna be in for a rude surpise when its times to cash that ticket....Its a must she do her..Esp. if Im doin me.

At 8:06 AM , Anonymous alldone71 said...

@ Ms. P,

No disrespect and kudos 2 ya!
You pretty much said what I said using a whole bunch of big words that my harlem education cannot comprehend! At least not until i've had my 2nd cup of coffee for the day! You see it thru a female perspective not for a brotha that just spent a grip on drinks and just had his hopes and dreams dashed by some young lady lookin for a lil wayne clone!

At 11:04 AM , Blogger P said...

Isn't this topic FUN?!? In layman terms.

I really, really, wasn't trying to philosophicize. I was really only saying that the primary instinct in women is to feel safe. And safe (in a physical way) can often be skewed if they don't have what feeling safe is in the proper perspective.

Feeling safe is emotional security. And tha comes when you can trust that man: with your money, with your LIFE, and with your love. Which means that she will feel physically, spiritually and emotionally safe at that point.

Listen to the song "One Hundred Ways" by James Ingram. It's not that you need to kiss the girls behind, that's not what most real women are asking for. It's more of a positive/negative charge. Ying to the yang. If you give her what she wants, you'll get what you want. Simply put.

Believe you me. You give a woman THAT, and we will owe you, the sweetest of debts, and that includes a five course meal (and yes, women still do that.

here are the lyrics.

At 12:59 PM , Anonymous alldone71 said...

@ Ms. P,

Ah yes, I know the song well! I was a lil shorty when it came out and to fuel your argument, my moms and aunties played it TO DEATH!!

Like I said before, no disrespect. I was just layin it down from a male point of view. It's all good. speaking of a male point of view, I got the perfect track to explain where we coming from... You remember the Biz Marke track "The Vapors"? That about sums it up..

P.S. It's a true story! :-) :-)

Later sista.


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